I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize