She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
