So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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