Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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