Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My ass is underappreciated
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
