I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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