Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
