I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
