Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
