Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
