Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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