brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
True college students do jello shots in the library
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