New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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