Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize