loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
