we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
