I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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