He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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