I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
