I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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