She's JV to your varsity
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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