He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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