Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
