my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
