I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
