Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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