I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
