he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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