Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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