i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize