Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
