margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
True college students do jello shots in the library
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