i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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