it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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