I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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