We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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