i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
