he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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