I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
