Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
