Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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