bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
