I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize