who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
