Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
