Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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