Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Randomize
