Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
