I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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