So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
