got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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