I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
