dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
