the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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