i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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