Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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